Grace

i have been doing some thinking lately. a lot of thinking really. i normally embrace change...in every way, but there have been times recently where change has affected my mode of thought.

i found myself asking this question: "why grace"? why is there so much grace in my life. there's nothing i have that i deserve. none of my happiness has been warranted and i am in a season of good, strong change that i hold and i feel like i'm waiting for it to implode with no notice.

i don't think that i lack faith, but that kind of thing happens all the time. hills and valleys, mountains and molehills, laurel and hardy. you get the point. there are so many ups that when the down comes...it's devastating.

so here i am at the top of this mountain and the only freakin thing that i can think about is who's at the bottom. i can't get past the fact that there are people that LIVE there. some of them are my friends...so called or not....and some are total strangers. regardless, wherever they are, WHOever they are makes no difference.

some are lost in life and don't have any direction, some are running from a real, true calling, some are in transition and then there are some who just don't care. some don't think they're really there at all, and then there are those that flaunt the fact that they are there. whatever the circumstance...there they are.

"God can release them" is the typical church cliche' that most people say whenever they want to feel sorry without an ounce of remorse for a lack of action. sure God can, but what if He doesn't? what if He's waiting it out? what if He's waiting on the person to quit being to stinking selfish and wake up to the fact that there is a whole silent world that depends on them.

"curse God and die" is what other people told Job when he was dealing with the feces party that became his life. rather than do that, he stayed true. when others would have committed spiritual suicide and died lonely and disheveled in a pile of their dreams of what once could have been, he didn't and was rewarded for it.

so the REAL question is this: should i feel guilty for being on my mountain?

the REAL answer is this: absolutely NOT, because i'm no stranger to the valley...in fact i'll be back there for a visit sooner than i really want. and i can deal with that because i've been learning this truth...

it's all a part of the grand scheme that gradually enriches people *whether they're Christ followers or not*.

the quote "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" has also been bothering me. i've said it before and i've even used it out of context, but i think that there are those other "extreme seasons" that you need for a real purging...or if you're a tree, pruning.

for branches to grow stronger, they have to be pruned...trimmed...cut back...even set back a long way for the sole purpose of making a better tree.
i've heard this analogy a hundred times, but only recently has it made so much sense to me.

now, if you're reading this and thinking "well, that's easy for him to say...he's on a high...a mountain". i promise you this....we WILL be trading places and i'll embrace your position like you will embrace mine. and to that i say...good day.