....when you can dance

"What can you do with a heavy soul?"


1 Cor. 1:18

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved....it is the power of God".


My God, how many times have I heard that verse? Why does it take such a small mind 25 years to process and fully understand the meaning of a simple phrase?

I dug into an old cd collection tonight by mistake. I meant to look for a dvd for the wife and I to watch. Instead, I was confronted by an intimate stranger. A stranger whom I had once known in such a close, impressionistic way until I started living life.

This is life that Solomon (arguably the wisest man who ever lived) called "meaningless".

I look around me and feel ok most of the time...so why is this striking me like this?

I can say only this...........I'm thankful. I haven't been coming to God, so He has come to me. Why he even bothers, I'll never know....but I'm thankful.

Here I am tonight....sitting here at my computer....typing these words of freedom when inside I'm so heavy....heavy, but determined for change. I'm asking, "If not now, then when"?

Rant

I've been quiet for some time now on a lot of issues. Not only have these been issues of the heart, but others as well (i.e. religion, politics, personal freedom, moral issues) and it's time for me to break the silence and do a little ranting on all of these.

I just got off the phone with my sis who is an outspoken advocate for a majority of the religious right. Last night she attended a prayer meeting with some close friends and prayed to God in such a way that would be immediately deemed as sac religious and an abomination to so many in the modern day Christian church. She took Muslim prayer practices and placed them side by side with her own beliefs. Why does this bother so many? Have Christians become so rigid in their own belief system that they can't readily accept people from different backgrounds (and religions) merely for who they are and not what they model their lives after?

Have we become a society that's willing to turn a blind eye toward people who invest time (and taxpayer dollars) to fund an ongoing war that not only pads the pockets of already wealthy and esteemed buisness men and politicians who's only concern is for a written agenda with one person in mind...themselves? Yet, in the same breath will openly defend a political candidate based on their stance against gay marriage and abortion without ever having solid evidence that they have the best interests of our country in mind. The thought causes rolling blackouts in my mind.

We use the terms "Republican" and "Democrat" as a thermostat for turning up the political heat around election time and pick these candidates apart based on trivial issues that aren't focused around the good of society. When will people de-program and stop listening to the oppressive nature of a pastor in a pulpit trying to swing your vote based upon a limited amount of issues...i.e. Ted Haggart.

Furthermore, I find it increasingly hard to listen to political anylists from either side that talk over people and refuse to hear the words of people who don't share the same viewpoint as themselves.

Can this nation change from the downward spiral course that it's on and rely on bare facts, free of political agendas and face the REAL elephants in the room that have been taking up too much space for far too long. Think for yourself, make your own decisions. Don't allow a political sway to swing you from left to right. Judge for yourself and draw up your own conclusions. Say things that aren't popular, if you truly believe in them. We're not called to judge, just decide.

INERTIA

INERTIA

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged…a week to be exact. There’s really no reason for it other than the fact that I’ve been so dang tired. I know you know exactly what I’m talking about. It happens when you’re so tired that you start seeing everything in a surreal light. It’s like everything you’re experiencing at that point in time is merely a dream amidst a conscious world and air in my lungs.

However, I heard some words this weekend that clicked in an equally surreal way.

“Sometimes you have to go backward to go forward” – Craig Groeschel

He actually used an analogy of a slingshot. In order to gain forward momentum, you have to be pulled backwards first. For me though, it’s a little different. This is why I made my own personal analogy of a pinball machine.

In order to get the ball moving you have to put the right amount of force behind it.

Tonight at my weekly group gathering, we were talking about what lies that we personally buy into every day about ourselves. I knew mine from the beginning, but I waited until my turn to completely spill it all….I’ve always felt like I couldn’t do anything. It was as if I could never do anything worth while in this world because I would never be able to finish it. I’ve lacked a vision.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish” ~ Proverbs twentynine:eighteen

Ok, so, let me Tarantino this back to where I’ve been for the last few weeks. I have this vision that will NOT leave me alone. Wait, did he just say vision? Yes he did. It’s probably one of the purest things that have ever pooped its way into this young mind of mine. I want to create a sense of musical purity and integrity into the Nashville community. This could ONLY be accomplished by creating community.

Community? Community.

Here’s what I mean by community.

~Achieving and assembling an ever growing number of people using the best, most creative & innovative music, people and technology while establishing a repertoire in the community as a place full of growing acceptance regardless of race, religion, financial or social backgrounds.

Literally….people loving people while listening to great music.

Why can’t we have such a place that strives to beat out the industry at its own game while at the same time having a BLAST doing so?

I know that this is quite an undertaking, but I will have to say that I’m not alone. Among the small conversations I’ve had with friends and strangers, there are already people wanting…dare I say NEEDING to be a part of something like this.

For all of you Nashvilleans:

When was the last time that you went to a show (other than bonaroo) and felt like someone actually gave a crap that you were there? Have you ever gone to a show alone and felt like you were alone, even though you were in the middle of hundreds of others?

I have and that’s why I started hating the scene.

We’ve needed something this refreshing for a long time. Something that is so liberating that when you walk in, you feel like there are real people developing real communities. Something that is so diverse that it mows down all cultural barriers and embraces people for people. Something that you’re not afraid to tell people about because you KNOW without a doubt that they will be welcomed with open arms….no matter what. Something downtown that you’ll NEVER have to hear a p.o.s. cover of some band playing “Pour Some Sugar On Me” (they have their place too, but just not here J). Something with enough pull behind it to get everything moving. Community IS that pull. We need….

INERTIA

More than just a clever name, we need people. A vision is nothing without people to fuel it. If you would like to participate in any aspect of INERTIA, then why are you waiting?

JOIN INERTIA

GET MOVING…INERTIA

Love's Not A Grave

Love's not a grave, it won't decay on you.
-as tall as lions

Have you ever been afraid of success? Sounds stupid doesn't it? To some it sounds utterly ridiculous. To others they are words of complete sense and pure poetry to the insight of their minds eye. In a legalistic, money driven society like the one we live in today success isn’t judged based solely on merit. You can’t get up front without a knife in the back. Et tu, Brute?

For those of you who have no IDEA what I’m talking about, let me enlighten you.

I moved to Nashville a little over 3 years ago without money or goals, but with plenty of ambition. My intentions were good, but my drive was lacking in all areas. When it came to confidence while being on stage, I was set. When it came to giving a flawless performance every time, there was no problem. However, when it came time to book shows, I got lazy and pre occupied with a job I hated (and I hated them all) and I wasted precious time.

The laziness then gave way to a lack of knowledge. After all, if I don’t know anybody around town then my hands are tied, right? WRONG! I was perfectly able to hop in my car to any one of the clubs or venues downtown that offer a slew of Nashville writers and musicians platforms every night of the week. My problem wasn’t in my ability, but the way that I tricked myself to forget about what I loved…the music. The lie about knowledge (my lack thereof) then managed to birth its way out into fear. Is this the fear that I might actually do something in this world? No. I hated where I was in my life and I knew how to change, but I didn’t. I stayed in the same old mundane lifestyle that birthed the fear in the first place. I was never proactive enough to pull out of the crap and get rid of the things that needed to be replaced. I would burn like a match and snuff out quickly after.

So in light of all of this, was I REALLY afraid of success, or so confused inside of myself that I allowed a lie to run the better part of my life as it raced past me like a subway car? I bought in and believed that I couldn’t for so long that it made me wonder if my love was sick in the hospital with meningitis coughing and wheezing like “Granny Old Bones” who chain smoked at the bowling alley when I was 8, filling my young, delicate, still forming lungs with a putrid, vile stench of Marlboro Reds ™. I thought it was dead. There’s good news, though…

I’ve found my love again. It never decayed because it never died. Love’s NOT a grave, or a tomb or a eulogy because true love for something or someone isn’t judged based solely on merit. What it IS based on is how deep and wide the owner lets it grow.

After some time, it’s something I find true

Love’s not a grave, it won’t decay on you

So many days I was afraid of love

- "Love, love, love (love, love)" by As Tall As Lions