Insomnia

It's 4:10, I should be in bed. Actually, I AM in bed, but I'm not at all sleepy. It feels like there is nothing on my mind, but in reality it’s swirling. It’s moving, but it’s almost at a stalemate. Here I am, 2 weeks away from making the most significant plunge of my entire adult life and there are all of these inherent contradictions moving around my brain.

-“What if you’re not a good husband”

-”You’ve been trained your whole life to be a good husband”

-“You know you love her”

-“Is love enough?”

-“What can you possibly offer her?”

-“Only everything she’s ever wanted in a man”

You get the point.

For those of you who are married, stick with me here. I know that the common response to these thoughts would normally be brushed off as “pre-marital jitters”. (I don’t know if I spelled “jitters” right. I’ve never had to spell such a ridiculous word before.) The only problem is this:

I don’t have any jitters.

These are just legitimate thoughts that have been running through my head at an alarming rate. I never thought that I would care about someone so much that I knew that I could not live my life without them in it.

On THAT note, I also never thought that I would be getting excited about dumb stuff like washers and dryers. Case in point…today, as I was washing some of our wedding shower gifts, I got SO pumped over the new carafe that had a separate holder for ice so it wouldn’t melt into your beverage. I know, nuts huh? The funny part to that is after I was finished marveling at it’s amazingness, I promptly put it in the dishwasher and ruined it forever. Classic me J.

With all of that said, I just want to make her as happy and as un lonely as she makes me.

That’s all. No poetic notes or witty send offs. It’s almost 4:30 and I’m starting to get sleepy. HA! Mission accomplished.

Ministers of the Mulch

It’s been 3 days since I’ve posted last, but a lot has happened. Sleep is one of those things. Being creative using several different facets is an incredible feeling, but the only catch is that my facets only turn on late at night. It’s a blessing and a curse all in the same bag and I assure you that I’m not complaining.

However, there is another part to the weekend that made an impact on everyone involved. First, I’ll set it up for you. Lifechurch voluntarily takes 10% of their church body and dedicates them to missions (which could be anything from raking leaves, to feeding the homeless or a trip to Honduras). Whatever the case, these last two weekends have held astronomical responses from the body as a whole through our “Life Reach” campaign. This is a story about R.T. Fisher Reform School.

It’s Saturday morning, 8:30 a.m., I’m awake which is NOT common for a day like Saturday. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes I arrive at the church and right behind me is Theresa. I tell her what we’re going to be doing that day and lucky for the both of us, she has quite the green thumb. Goodie! We wait about 15 minutes, not sure if anyone else will show. Alas, no one else does. If it’s just us, then it’s just us. We can take care of business! We take off (in separate cars of course….lifechurch standard! J) and arrive to the school to plant flowers, mulch and trim some limbs. Little did we know that the cavalry would be waiting for us when we got there. 10 people total to be exact! Armed like a small army with our array of shovels, clippers, ho’s (the garden tool), and a fantastic work ethic, we attacked the school.

2 ½ hours later, we emerged as a unified body of people. We didn’t do this for any recognition or to prove that our church is better than anyone else’s, but we did it to put our faith into action. “Preach the gospel always and when necessary, use words” – St. Francis of Assisi.

I think that coming to that kind of realization with 10 other people did nothing short of scream those words into existence in my heart. As a Christ follower, it’s easy to trap such an infinite being as God into such a small viewfinder, but this weekend changed all of that. I watched 10 people (including myself) discover unconsciously through their actions that God was planting flowers at a reform school that day and that generations of students would be affected by one solitary action from a small group on a Saturday morning. We can change generations by mulching! Whodathunkit?

Will the students see the newly mulched flowerbed and neatly trimmed hedges and have a life changing experience with God almighty? Probably not, but it’s those subtle nuances that could inadvertently trigger a thought in their mind that someone cares, thus sustaining hope within a hopeless environment.

Lives were changed because of yard work….I know, I was there…..and I left a different man.